“Grief is love not wanting to let go.”
When children are grieving a death by suicide, they need the caring adults around them to help them find their way through Wordon’s tasks of mourning:
Task #1: Accept the Reality of the Loss
Task #2: Process the Pain of the Grief
Task #3: Adjust to a World without the Deceased
Task #4: Move on to an Enduring Connection While Embarking on a New Life
In this podcast, I interview Barbara Rubel, author of But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping Families After a Suicide. We walk through specific strategies families and other caring adults can use to support kids bereaved by suicide across many developmental ages.
When a teen loses a loved one to suicide, the intense reactions can be overwhelming, and sometimes the caring adults don’t know what to do to help. Teens who are already feeling the pressure of school and social expectations can be very challenged in navigating the complexity of suicide bereavement. In this interview, Jason shares his journey from surviving to thriving after losing his Dad to suicide when he was 17.
Author of “Still with Us: Voices of Sibling Suicide Loss,” Dr. Lena Heilmann joins me for our shared reflection on the experience of losing a brother or sister to suicide. We speak about how in this form of loss, siblings experience losing their past, present and future. Lena also suggests many strategies for coping with the grief and trauma of suicide loss.
In this podcast, Master Sergeant Christopher D. Jachimiec shares the tragedy of losing his brother Adam to suicide. We explore our shared grief experiences as sibling survivors of suicide loss and the making meaning process. Out of catastrophe we have options — to get buried under, to gloss over or to go through. Chris found his higher purpose was “honoring the dash” — our lives are not about the start date or end date, but what happens in between.
During the interview, Chris shares so many resources (many listed below), key steps in the journey of healing, and lessons learned from Viktor Frankl.
When we talk about suicide bereavement, we often think about the grief part of the response, but sometimes we forget that the experience of losing a loved one to suicide is also traumatic. When a parent loses a child to suicide, the complications of traumatic grief are frequently unparalleled. For many, their core beliefs about the world and themselves are shattered and the pieces take a while to pull back together — like “someone pulled the pin on the grenade and threw it into the (emotional) center of the family.”
In this podcast I interview Sebastian Slovin, author of “Ashes in the Ocean: A Son’s Story of Living though and Learning from his Father’s suicide. We touch upon themes of survival, stigma and safe space and how we was able to grow up in the shadow of suicide and piece together a narrative and a life worth living. Sebastian shares to other men, “Not feeling does not work” in the grief healing journey. He talks openly and honestly about how peer and professional support — even spiritual connections — can make a big difference in letting men know they are not alone in their bereavement by suicide.
